


The Care and Feeding of Wasteland Goats

by nanda (nandamai)



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies), Mad Max: Fury Road
Genre: Badasses Being Adorable, F/M, Fluff, Goats, Happy Healthy Citadel Tag, Max Really Doesn't Like the Goats, Non-Angsty Mention of Sprog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 15:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5096462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nandamai/pseuds/nanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max: 0. Goat: 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Care and Feeding of Wasteland Goats

Furiosa's on the roof of the car, on watch, when she hears a thump, a squeal that could be animal or human, and the words, "Bad goat!"

She sucks her lips between her teeth to keep from laughing. Oh, the _goats_.

Jumping down, she opens the door on the side where Max likes to lay his head. It's dark, but the moon is half-full and bright. He looks up at her piteously, rubbing his chin as if he's taken a blow. One of the kids is munching happily, and suspiciously. The other is trying to climb onto Max's legs.

"It ate my hair," he says. "And my beard. My beard!" He's been growing it out since Furiosa told him she liked it longer. Not wild, two-hundred-days-in-the-desert long, but long enough to grab onto, and to tickle, not burn, between her legs.

The second kid takes the opportunity to jump over her sister and out the door, but the rope around her neck keeps her from getting much farther than Furiosa's feet. Furiosa figures she'll let them both stretch their legs and scoops up the guilty party, leaving only herself and her wounded warrior in the back seat. She puts her shotgun in the front -- easy for her to reach, but far from curious mouths.

"Not weaned, my ass," Max says.

Furiosa lifts his head so she can sit, and places it in her lap. She checks his scalp and his jaw automatically, but hell, it's a goat. It barely has teeth.

"No blood," she says.

"Ha, ha."

"Poor baby." 

She's sure she feels heat bloom in his skin, but he says, "I warned you about those things." 

Max really doesn't like the goats. They shat in his car and drooled on his jacket before dining on his hair. He also doesn't like being woken up.

"We'd better give them some water at least," she muses. "Maybe bean paste?" 

The two kids came with a big flask of their mother's milk, yesterday morning; it was slightly sour by nightfall, not sour enough to give to the sand, but enough to use up quickly. Dawn is at least a few hours away and they won't reach the Citadel until the sun is high. 

One of the goats bleats, and the other joins in.

"Hush," she says. "Will you eat beans?"

"They're obviously not fussy." 

"You hush, too." She smiles, and scratches the new bald spot on his head. He's still rubbing his chin. "I'll even it out for you when we get home. Who else do you need to impress?"

"Hmm." 

"You forget, I've kissed you after two hundred days in the desert." 

"That's different."

She thinks she knows what the difference is. A kid rubs its head on her hip, bleating, and climbs back into the footwell, crowding in under her legs.

"Poor baby," Furiosa says again. 

"Me, or them?" Then he stops, looks confused for a second, and gets the furrow in his forehead that means _Sprog_ , though he rarely says it aloud. Furiosa prepares for the worst, but Max laughs. 

"What?"

He grins up at her. "He used to scream and giggle when we cut his toenails. He liked the attention."

"Well, now we know where he got it from," she says. She's not sure she's allowed to joke about this, but she thinks it's okay. And it is.

He pulls her head down to give her a kiss. It's interrupted by a small goat chewing on Furiosa's pants.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here I am on Tumblr and there's lots more Mad Max.](http://nandamai.tumblr.com)


End file.
